Week 13 NFL Picks

Hey gang,

Another short one this week. Lots of stuff to do. The good news is the semester is almost over, so soon I will get back to blogging on here about topics other than football, and the football articles themselves might be longer and more in-depth. At least until the spring semester starts in January, at which time I will once again cease to have a life outside the Newhouse School.

So I forgot to make my picks before the Thanksgiving games. Well, actually I didn't forget. I went online at about 10:30 that morning to make my picks, but I was at my parents' house, and their satellite internet connection is very fickle in the snow, and I was unable to do anything online. I know, bitch, bitch, bitch. Anyway, I would have been right about Tennessee and Dallas (because you would have been out of your mind to pick against either of them) and I'm honestly not sure which way I would have gone in the Philly-Arizona game. On one hand, the Cardinals looked like the better team on paper. On the other hand, the Cardinals (and every other western team) have been unable to win on the east coast, and this was the epitome of the game where Donovan McNabb gets pissed off about people criticizing and questioning him and responds by having a monster game. So the Eagles' "upset" of the Cardinals was not entirely surprising. But would I have predicted it? I'm really not sure. By the way, I think it would be an effective strategy for Eagles coach Andy Reid to notice this pattern and invest most of his time in finding new and creative ways to piss off his quarterback every week.

On to the remaining picks!

San Francisco at Buffalo: THE BILLS. West coast teams play poorly on the east coast (see above). Mind you, I'm not putting too much stock in the Bills scoring 54 points on Kansas City last week. The Chiefs suck out loud, and as happy as I was with the offensive explosion, I was more disturbed that our defense allowed the Chiefs to rack up more than 460 yards of offense against us (we also forced 5 turnovers, but still). So, no, I don't suddenly think the Bills are going to go on a roll and make the playoffs or anything crazy like that, but we should beat the Niners in Buffalo.

Baltimore at Cincinnati: RAVENS. Prove me wrong, Cincinnati, prove me wrong.

Indianapolis at Cleveland: COLTS. Don't look now, but the Colts are back from the dead. (So are the Cowboys. And so are the Patriots, if you think back to the widespread panic and despair felt by Patriots fans after the Brady injury. It's the season of the zombies!)

Carolina at Green Bay: PANTHERS. As previously noted (several times, in fact) I cannot correctly predict the outcome of a Packers game. This is as good as guaranteeing a Green Bay victory. You're welcome, Pete.

Miami at St. Louis: DOLPHINS. What is there to say? The Rams blow.

New Orleans at Tampa Bay: BUCCANEERS. I have a strange feeling I'm wrong about this, but I'm standing by the NFC South home field advantage theory.

New York Giants at Washington: GIANTS. And the juggernaut rolls on...

Atlanta at San Diego: FALCONS. It's a long road trip, but it's not as hard for eastern teams to go west as it is for western teams to go east, and really, how much confidence do you have in the Chargers at this point, even with a significant home field advantage? Should be an interesting match up, as Michael Turner returns to San Diego. Maybe it will inspire LT to have a decent game for once, but I doubt it. Turner will probably outplay LT by a significant margin, prompting several San Diego sports writers to speculate that the team kept the wrong running back (and, they will undoubtedly point out, the wrong quarterback, when they kept Rivers instead of Brees, and maybe they'll even point out that they might have made a mistake when they caved to Eli Manning's demands and traded him to the Giants immediately after drafting him. After all, Manning the Younger has a Super Bowl ring, and appears headed for another. Chargers fans will now become horribly depressed and start drinking bourbon straight from the bottle).

Denver Broncos at Jersey Jets: JETS. They're sons of bitches, but they're good.

Kansas City at Oakland: RAIDERS. And the award for the game watched by the fewest people this week goes to... Chiefs-Raiders!!!! Seriously, the viewership for this game could be in the triple digits. And that includes the people in the stadium.

Pittsburgh at New England: STEELERS. I know, I know. Willie Parker is gimpy, and the Patriots have looked good recently, and we might have another Tom Brady story on our hands with Matt Cassel. But I picked the Steelers to go to the Super Bowl, dammit, and seeing them win this game would make me happy and give the Bills a slightly more realistic chance of making the playoffs, so I'm picking with my heart.

Chicago Bears at Minnesota Vikings: VIKINGS. I understand one thing about this division and one thing only: the Lions are bad. Everything else is a question mark. So I picked the home team. And, coincidentally, the team with the better Adrian Peterson.

Jacksonville at Houston: TEXANS. Another tough to call game. So I went with the home team. And the team with Andre Johnson.

I'm out. Catch ya next week.

-Niztradamus