NFL Week 16 Picks

Okay, we're going to run through the picks quickly, because I forgot to do this yesterday. I was editing my new short story all day and the NFL picks slipped my mind. I plan to finish the editing this afternoon/evening, and then the story will be online. It's called "Consumed." I'm pretty happy about it.

On to the picks!

Indianapolis at Jacksonville: COLTS. Indy's on a hell of a winning streak, but for some reason I still don't expect them to get very far in the playoffs. But I've been wrong before and probably will be again someday.

Baltimore at Dallas: COWBOYS. Yep, missed on this one. I'm not surprised that Dallas had trouble offensively against the Ravens. I am surprised the Ravens scored 33 points. If they can get some production from their offense, they could be dangerous in January. Baltimore is one of three teams I could see going to the Super Bowl from the AFC. Who are the other two?

Pittsburgh at Tennessee: STEELERS. These are the other two. I'm really looking forward to this battle for the top seed in the conference. I picked the Steelers because I think they're a slightly better team, both offensively and defensively. But it wouldn't surprise me at all if the Titans won this game. In fact, if I were betting against the spread, I would have to pick Tennessee on principle. Last time I checked, the Titans were a two-point underdog. It's a rare day that you get the team with the best record in the NFL playing at home and they're not a heavy favorite, let alone an underdog. That's the kind of bet you make, regardless of circumstances. It will work out more often than it won't.

Cincinnati at Cleveland: BROWNS. I guess. I don't have confidence in either of these teams.

New Orleans at the magnificent 0-14 Detroit Lions: SAINTS. Come on, guys! Two more games! You can do it!

Miami at Kansas City: DOLPHINS. Miami will probably make the playoffs. And they will certainly get destroyed in the opening round.

San Francisco at St. Louis: 49ERS. Because they're better than their record. The Rams are not.

Arizona at New England: PATRIOTS. This looked like a promising season for the Cards, and they did make the playoffs. You've got to give them that much. But they're going to finish around .500 and I doubt they'll get a win in the postseason. This is one of my best bets of the week. Why? Review what the Cardinals have done on the east coast this season.

San Diego at Tampa Bay: BUCS. I'm holding out hope that the Chargers beat the Bucs and the Bills beat the Broncos, to set up a fun Broncos-Chargers game for the AFC West championship next weekend. But neither of those things is going to happen.

New Jersey Jets at Seattle: JETS. But they've been playing pretty badly lately. And it's a long road trip. You could see the Hawks winning this game, right? It will be weird to see Brett Favre and Mike Holmgren on the sidelines with no Packers gear in sight.

Houston at Oakland: TEXANS. I'll say it again-- Andre Johnson is a beast. And the Raiders make me feel depressed. I don't even like the Raiders, but I feel bad anyway.

Buffalo at Denver: BRONCOS. I wouldn't bet on this game either way. The Broncos are inconsistent, even at home (the Raiders blew them out at Mile High, after all), and the Bills are probably getting Trent Edwards back, which will help. Gibran Hamdan would have helped. Anyone but J.P. Losman would have helped. Still, the Bills have won exactly one game in the past two months, and that was a bizarre 54-point outburst against the Chiefs, in which Kansas City actually gained more offensive yards than we did. I'll play it safe and take the Broncos.

Philadelphia at Washington: EAGLES. The Redskins are in a freefall and McNabb has been excellent since the benching incident.

Atlanta at Minnesota: VIKINGS. Tough call. Once again, going with the home team and Adrian Peterson. (With Kurt Warner's Cardinals struggling, Adrian will probably hear those M-V-P! M-V-P! chants getting louder)

Carolina at New York Giants: GIANTS. I almost picked Carolina. But I think the Giants are just too tough, too resilient, to lose consecutive games and give up their stranglehold on the NFC. These are the guys who toppled the New England dynasty, after all. Coughlin says Brandon Jacobs will play, barring a setback before the game. That is very good news for the G-men.

Green Bay at Chicago: BEARS. Finally, an NFC North game that does not involve the Lions that seems pretty clear-cut. The Bears have played better than the Packers over the course of the season, and the game is in Chicago. But the way my picks have gone in this division all year, Green Bay will probably win.

All right, that's all. Have a merry Christmas, a happy Hannukah, a pleasant Kwanzaa, a bodacious Boxing Day, and an excellent winter solstice.

-Niztradamus