Week 14 NFL Picks

Hey gang,

We've got some interesting games this week. The Steelers host the Cowboys, in what I originally predicted would be a preview of Super Bowl XLIII. They're both having good seasons, and it's still possible that one or both could make it to the big game, but Tennessee and the Giants have run away with the regular season and are the clear frontrunners from the two conferences. On Monday night, there's a big game in the NFC South, as the Panthers host the Bucs. And the Bills and Dolphins play the first regular season NFL game in Toronto. But let's not talk about that much.

On to the picks!

Oakland at San Diego: This was a no-brainer, but once again I failed to make my selections in time for the Thursday game. Beacuse I often lose track of what day of the week it is. I'm an idiot. I'm 11 games off the lead in the pick 'em league, and I would have at least 4 or 5 more wins (and maybe more) if I had remembered to pick on time. So it's not like I would be winning the league or anything, but it would be a more manageable and respectable deficit.

Jacksonville at Chicago: BEARS. Jack Del Rio, that seat's getting a little hot, right?

Minnesota at Detroit: VIKINGS. Obviously I'm not going to pick the Lions, but I'm starting to root for them. I feel bad for their fans. I know what it's like to root for a team that sucks constantly, and I wouldn't want anyone to see their team go 0-16. Unless the team in question was the Patriots, Jets, or Dolphins.

Houston at Green Bay: PACKERS. It's been a disappointing year for the Pack, but you have to think they win this one against an inconsistent team from Texas at Lambeau in December. This is the kind of game Green Bay ALWAYS wins.

Cleveland at Tennessee: TITANS. Rule: In the NFL you always, always pick against Ken Dorsey.

Cincinnati at Indianapolis: COLTS. Since I don't have much to say about this game, I'll just mention that I almost always have to double check to make sure that I'm spelling "Cincinnati" correctly. Even though I have a great memory for the way words are spelled, that one just throws me off. I'm constantly questioning whether it's a double "N" or a double "T." Okay, moving on.

Atlanta at New Orleans: FALCONS. Probably not a good idea to take a road team in this division, but I've been really impressed by Atlanta. There's a good chance it won't happen, but I would really like to see the Falcons make the playoffs. They're just a feel-good story. And I would love to see Matt Ryan immediately have more success than Michael Vick did in ATL.

Philadelphia at New York Giants: GIANTS. I wouldn't be shocked if the Eagles won this game. McNabb was superb on Thanksgiving, and now he's had a long week to prepare for the Giants. Plus wacky things happen in the NFC East, and the Giants have a major distraction, considering the Plaxico Burress incident. You know, this really speaks to the sad state of professional sports, but I didn't find that story surprising. I think I grinned a little, because it is pretty funny, but for the most part I was unfazed. I just went, "Well, at least he didn't shoot anyone else."

Okay, gotta rush through these last picks, because my parents called me while I was writing this, and now I've only got a little while before I need to leave for my friend Jon's ugly Christmas sweater party (because it's never too early to get drunk while wearing a hideous sweater).

Jersey Jets at San Francisco: JETS. But it's a road game, and these Niners are showing some pluck, so an upset isn't out of the question.

Kansas City at Denver: BRONCOS. But, again, an upset wouldn't be shocking because the Broncos are utterly unpredictable.

Miami at Buffalo: DOLPHINS. The Bills are in the crapper, the Dolphins are hot, the crowd in Toronto will be an unenthusiastic group of rich people, and J.P. Losman is starting. It all adds up to a victory for the Fins.

New England at Seattle: PATRIOTS. Mike Holmgren is really regretting his Seattle farewell tour.

St. Louis at Arizona: CARDINALS. Come on, Kurt Warner, I need a big game. I managed to get the last slot in my fantasy playoffs!

Dallas at Pittsburgh: STEELERS. You too, Willie Parker and Tony Romo (yes, my league starts multiple quarterbacks. It's wild)!

Washington at Baltimore: RAVENS. Because Ray-Ray is playing for a payday.

Tampa Bay at Carolina: PANTHERS. Because I was basically flipping a coin and Carolina is at home.

All right, that's it, that's all, that's all there is. By the time next week rolls around, my semester will be completely over. Good times.

-Niztradamus